Well then

I don't know what to do with all my photos. There are so many of them. It feels like I could always be taking more but I'm much better at that than I am at dealing with them. I have all these folders to go through, things saved in different places. Duplicates and inconsistencies.

I don't know if Flickr is the way to go or if Squarespace is the answer. I don't know. I need to be good with not knowing.

My wrist hurts. I messed it up when I was doing some event photography last year. The strap I had wasn't the best option. I was holding it wrong. The gear was heavy. The event was long. My wrist ached afterwards. I rested and made changes.

Mostly it's been okay since then. Sometimes it bugs me.

When it doesn't bug me I forget why I decided that a lightweight and simple mirrorless camera was the most important thing in the world. Right now I am reminded whenever I do anything. When I type these words for example. Or flip eggs in a frying pan. I am reminded of how much of who I am rides on the ability to use my right wrist.

I would go kayaking Wednesday but my wrist hurts. There is also smoke. I feel like it's time to take a break and hibernate. To pause and pivot.

I love photography but I know that heavy gear is out of the question. My body is telling me no. I am going to take it easy and then try to remember to be careful.

I am going to start dealing with things. Going through some stuff. Getting my affairs in order — I have oh so many of them and I can't keep track of them.

My documents are saved across five or six different hard drives. I want to consolidate them.

The instructor from my Graphic Design Fast Track program said we should only save final versions once a project is done. I have so many working files. I probably have two hundred versions of my dissertation. Each file over 25 mb. Some saved an hour or two apart. I will never need them all but I struggle to let it go.

Yesterday I found a fantastic article about closets in Places Journal. They're the type of publication where you click on something and are moved and awestruck by a piece that combines a history of closets — there are so many things you don't know about the history of closets — with a wistful reflection on the stuff we collect and make, where we put in, what happens to it when we die and what we do with it all. All this about closets.

I wonder about this stuff I make and generate. I wonder what to do with all of it. I want life to be simple but there are always more and more things. New hobbies, new hoodies, new files made endlessly with each day. A pile of hard drives in various states of disarray. Things on the floor. Bins and boxes.

Despite my best efforts I am probably a failed minimalist. I want life to be simple but it isn't. That or I am only organized because when I'm not chaos unfolds and I can't find a thing. I went to a concert last week with my parents and my dad had entrusted the ticket to me — he commented that it was about treating me like an adult and I was all awe shucks. I hadn't remembered that I had the ticket. When he told me I walked upstairs and opened the drawer where I keep these sorts of things. It was there happily stored for when I needed it.

Order. So nice when you can find things.

Then there is the rest of my life, when the order fails. There are piles of things waiting to be dealt with. Shuffled around endlessly but never addressed.

As I said I want to be a minimalist but I often fail. I want to have just enough, everything with its use, everything with a place. I believe that the Life Changing Magic of Tidying up can be achieved through drawers. Marie Kondo's comments on drawer were a huge eye opener. I don't believe in everything in the book but that one theme is enough to validate the title.

I have my eye on a drawer unit at Superstore. Maybe I should just go for it.

I can't find exactly what I want in a drawer unit but that ones the closest and the best value for money. One drawer for pens. One for pencils. One for watercolour. One for notebooks. One for cards. One for envelopes. A drawer for everything. Everything in its place. One day I'll get there.

File management is a never ending work in progress. I am trying to remember that.

It's all a never ending work in progress. I learn more each day and will have a better idea of things later.

You don't start an expert and anyone who is an expert got there through hard work and tough lessons. I will simply try and enjoy the process. I am here and this is what needs doing today.

I have a new website. I am organizing Flickr. I am researching prices on external hard drives. I am getting stuff done. Big girl pants for the win.

As a bonus I have enough money that buying a 2tb hard drive no longer feels like a financial crisis. For a long time I've been just hanging on. Today I feel like I can buy a new pair of shoes and a hard drive in a month and still go out for drinks.

It's a nice feeling. The choices that having a basic amount of money gives you. The freedom from the worry about the simplest purchase whether it's a couple beers with a friend or a new shirt or kayaking classes.

Now that I am stepping back from any concept that I could actually use a 70–200 lens and live to see the end of it I am no longer trying to figure out how to buy one. I feel like the gear I have is good for what I want, what I can do. It's a bit of a relief. In the future, when my wrist feels better, I will buy gear that is light and simple. Gear for city streets and beaches and mountains. Not for events. Not for feeling fancy. Not for trying to be something. Just for doing what I am drawn towards.